Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
17 year olds will be the death of me.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
