If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
