he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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