see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
