Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
