I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
id be glad to
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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