If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
