where am i from again
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
