i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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