dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
