Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You have to summon your inner elephant
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Randomize
