Already got asked if we're dating
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
