She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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