you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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