A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
