I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
