Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
