the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
