Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
