So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
