please come you make the beer taste better
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Randomize
