You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
