Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
