I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize