maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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