I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
too bad you live with your parents still
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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