it hurts more in the daytime
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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