How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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