Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
