why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
