GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
