please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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