I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
