? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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