Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
