You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
