Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
