I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
