Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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