just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
