I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
