Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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