Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
