you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Ladies don't puke and tell
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
