I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Blood and glitter go together right?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize