We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
