if you like me you must not know who I am
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
