I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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