hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize