I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
What a dumb baby whore.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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