I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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