Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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