Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
