Nicole vs. Life
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
