I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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