the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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