it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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