Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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