HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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