i jhust puked up my retainher.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
