Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize